Thursday Thirteen

1. Bring on the weekend! It is only Thursday and I am so excited! I won’t say that work has been particularly stressful lately, but I will say it has been extremely busy and this holiday weekend is going to be much appreciated. I can’t wait to have three solid days in a row where I don’t have to be in the office. I know you can relate.

2. My USAT membership is about to expire and I can’t really see any reason to renew it at this point. For that matter, I don’t know that I can even call myself a triathlete any longer, since I’ve done one sprint triathlon (and a few relay legs) since becoming an Ironman. I know I’ll be an Ironman forever, but can I still call myself a triathlete?

3. I’m registered for the Musselman Sprint in July but since I hope to be a few weeks preggers by then, I’m considering skipping out. It is too late for a refund, so I’m thinking I’ll just show up and take it easy.

4. If you know me, you know how unrealistic the take-it-easy approach is. I’ve tried before, and if there are people to be passed, I’m going to try. Go ahead, Es, comment on this…

5. I’m seriously head over heels for my iPad. I’ve mentioned before my relationship with the iPad. Things have gotten serious. We haven’t slept together yet, but we’ve been cuddling in bed quite a bit. We go everywhere together. I think it is true love!

6. Let’s talk about my iPad (or CatPad, as I like to call it) a little more, okay? Two weeks ago I went on a weekend trip. Normally I count the minutes until I reach my destination. This time around, however, I sat contently in the airport (on the floor, no less, so I could use the only available outlet to recharge) listening to music and reading a book. I could have stayed there all day.

7. The flight time whizzed by as I watched a couple of episodes of Weeds that I’d downloaded. Unfortunately I had to pay for them because I couldn’t stream netflix in flight, but it was worth it (HD was not). When I finished the book I was reading, I tapped a couple of taps and started a new book. No need to carry around multiple books and periodicals. It was fabulous!

8. That’s just the tip of the iceburg. I listen to Pandora radio while I get ready in the morning. I use the mapping feature on the road. I find restaurants. I look for cheap gas. I check my grocery list (and add to it). Of course, I check facebook. And this morning while I was drinking my morning juice, I programmed by DVR to record an Oprah farewell special. It is easier to use the iPad than the DVR box and remote. Okay, I’m done. For now.

9. On a completely unrelated note, the Federal government’s hiring process is completely f-ed up. Yes, I said f-ed up. I don’t ordinarily curse, but it is just so ridiculous! Three different offices in my agency would like to hire me, but they can’t. The archaic hiring system prevents any rational behavior like identifying a suitable candidate for a vacancy and hiring them. Now I am on the flip side of the equation trying to select individuals for vacancies and dealing with insane veterans preference issues that dictate who we can hire and how. I just needed to vent.

10. On a happier note… Okay, wait. I’m trying to think. What can I say on a happier note? Give me a minute.

11. Oh, right. I’ve got it. Life is good. Hey, I can be general. I’m really in a good place right now, physically and mentally. I’m back to myself and I’m really happy about that.

12. Which reminds me - I started running again. I wasn’t planning to. Although I’m in between IVF cycles and mostly recovered from the surgery, I was thinking I would just not start again since I’d probably need to stop in a few weeks. Yeah, that made more sense in my head than when I write it out. Long story short, Monday night I was “leading” the run and I just decided to go for it. In the past few weeks I've walked or roller-bladed while everyone ran. Not only was running enjoyable, but I felt fantastic afterwards and even the next day. So I ran again yesterday and plan to go for it again Saturday. Seriously, I'm sure that the majority of my few readers are fellow triathletes, but if you don't already run, you should start. It makes such a difference in how you feel, your energy, the kind of food you crave, the quality of your sleep, etc., etc.   

13. I have started working on a business plan. It won’t take the place of my full-time job, but it will allow me to do something I love and have wanted to do for a long time. Now I just need to execute it. More soon.

Gosh, my entries are long this week, but I suppose that’s not so unusual.

Thanks for reading! Have a great holiday weekend!

Looking Ahead

I'm feeling even more optimistic today than yesteray. It really helps that it is Friday. Parrrrty!

The weekend is going to be awesome and I've been looking forward to it for months. The Morses are hosting their annual Strike Out MS Crawfish Boil tomorrow at their home in Alexandria. This is a seriously great event for a very worthwhile cause. All are welcome and it is always a great (and yummy) time.

Check out Amazing Kate's fundraising page here. For your $25 donation, you get all of the crawfish, potatoes, corn, sausage, etc., you can eat. Add $5 and you get all of the beer you can drink, too. What a deal! The Morses pay for all of the food out of their pocket and all of the proceeds go directly to the National MS Society.

Then Sunday will entail more delicious eats. I'm not talking about Taste of Arlington. Nah. It is time for the semi-annual DonRockwell.com picnic.

Although I haven't made it to a picnic in a while (the darn race schedule kept interfering), I know it is going to be great! DR.com is a 'foodie' message board for the DC area and is my number one source for restaurant information. I've been a member of the community for a while now and have met a lot of great people and learned about many wonderful places to eat.

The picnics, oh the picnics! I think of them as the ultimate pot lucks. Sometimes there are pigs being roasted, or homemade bacon being grilled. Once there was a chili cookoff. Attendees range from professional chefs and domestic goddesses to regular people like me who just like good food. You don't need to bring a culinary masterpiece to participate. This is seriously one of the least pretentious, most warm and welcoming groups I have ever known.

I still need to figure out what I am going to bring. There is a pretty high bar for the food, but you could honestly show up with paper plates and plastic forks you would be welcomed with open arms. If anyone would like to join us, let me know. It is at Fort Hunt Park from 12-5.

So, lots of eating this weekend. Somewhere I'll squeeze in some good workouts to counterbalance all of the deliciosity.

In case you're wondering, there is a plan for the next cycle and we are set to go. I'm a planner. I like plans. We have a plan now and I'm happy. It is pretty simple. Now those little frozen embryos (yes, plural) better get on board. We are ready to go.

Happy Friday, everyone. I hope to see you all at one of the fun events this weekend.

Chin Up

Another quick update. I'm truly, honestly doing okay. Yes, we're bummed. But very optimistic that this will eventually work out.

Remember how I mentioned that we're doing the "shared risk" program. Well, we have 5 more cycles left. Yay! We have 3 frozen embryos. And we have each other (awwww).

In the extremely unlikely event that at the end of this we don't have a little bundle of joy, guess what... We get our money back. Not that I want that, but that's like half of the cost of our dream kitchen.

Yesterday I had a nice elliptical workout and I did abs. Yes, I did. For the first time in like 7 weeks. I have that pleasant soreness today that is due to a workout and not surgery, injections, or bloating. I feel good.

I really appreciate the comments, notes and facebook posts. Thank you!!!

Decrease

The nurse called. My level is down. No longer pregnant.

:(

I'm doing okay. We'll just move forward from here.

Thanks everyone for the messages. I feel very loved.

Well, actually...

You know how they say you can't be a little bit pregnant...you either are or you aren't?

Well, that is not entirely accurate.

I thought the waiting would make me crazy, but it actually hasn't been too bad. I've had a lot to distract me; party planning, work, a quick weekend trip for a friend's retirement.

Today was the big day and as you might expect, I was very excited and very nervous.

TMI warning: On Saturday, I started bleeding. Just a little. A friend had told me how she had spotted after IVF and she was still pregnant, so while I was concerned, I wasn't devastated. (Thanks, B, for that info, it REALLY helped!)

Sunday I wasn't bleeding anymore but I had some of those moments that you have where you can just feel your period coming. But I wasn't spotting anymore. I was convinced I was not pregnant. That was until a few hours later when I stopped feeling any symptoms and started feeling much more optimistic.

This morning I started spotting again. I didn't know what to think. I went for my blood test first thing and then the anxiety set in. What a roller coaster!

Finally, around 2 pm, the nurse called with the results.

Positive!

Yippee!


But......

The blood test measures your hCG levels and that is how they determine if you are pregnant. Unfortunately, my level is very low. The Knight keeps nudging me to not be negative. I think I am generally a very optimistic and positive person, but I am also very realistic. I prefer to be prepared.

Without dwelling on the possibilities, I will just mention that there is a chance that the pregnancy will not last. There really isn't anything I can do at this point but wait and keeping taking my meds. I will be re-tested on Wednesday morning. The hope is that my level will double by then.

I kind of feel like it would be easier to have gotten a negative result than to be in this situation. Not that I'm hopeless, but I think I'd rather not be pregnant than have a miscarriage. I'm not giving up yet.

The Knight is being super fabulous, which reminds me of why I married him and why I am so incredibly lucky to have him as my husband and friend (and partner in this endeavor). So I'm doing okay. I'm a little emotional, but I believe 100%  that this will work out in the end.

Thanks for reading and supporting me. I felt like I should not leave you hanging... I'll update when I know more.

Brrrr.....

Three 3 embryos made it to the cryopreservation - or freezing - stage. Yay! That means that whenever we're ready to do this again, we can skip the weeks of shots and the egg retrieval, and skip straight to the transfer. Good news! Hopefully it will be a few years before we need to think about these guys.

Sunshine After The Storm

You know that wonderful feeling after you’ve been congested for a while and you can finally breathe again? That’s kind of how I feel today. I feel normal again and it feels GREAT! Everybody join me for the happy dance.

Early last week I started feeling like poop. Thursday was the big day – the egg retrieval – and it went as well as we could have hoped. Depending on the source, an average egg retrieval  yields around 10-12 eggs. Are you ready for it? We got 23!  Go me, go me!

Ordinarily, around 60-70% of those eggs are mature. We had 21 (91% - if you’re counting)! Of those 21 eggs, 18 of those fertilized normally (85% - versus 70-80% average) and became developing embryos.

We were thrilled when our doctor called on Saturday, sounding almost giddy, and said that almost all of our embryos were doing extremely well. Really exceeding expectations. I won't get into the details, but it was fabulous news.

Earlier this week, we transferred one single embryo into my uterus. The doctor recommended that we only transfer one because the embryos were doing so well. Although we had discussed having twins and agreed that it would be fabulous, the doctor cautioned against this because of the additional risks a twin pregnancy can present to me and to the babies.

She left the decision up to us but strongly recommended the single transfer. I still haven’t figured out exactly why, but she explained that transferring two would not increase our odds of becoming pregnant. Hmmmm.

Meanwhile, as I mentioned above, I was really feeling the effects of all of the procedures and medications I'd injected over the past couple of weeks.  I was so bloated that I could barely close my pants. Apparently, removing 23 eggs is a lot of poking with a needle, and every follicle that had an egg removed was now filled with fluid (as much as a golf ball). To say that makes you uncomfortable is an understatement. And then there was the nausea. Not fun at all.

Anyhow, enough about that. As I said, on Tuesday we transferred the embroyo (they even gave us a picture of it) and then I rested. More quality time on the sofa at the treehouse. I am happy to report that today I am feeling fantastic (and very optimistic)! So good, in fact, that I feel like I could run. But no running for me. Just light cardio for now.

Next step is the official pregnancy test on May 16^th. Nothing more for me to do between now and then except continue taking my meds (I don’t want to talk about it – they suck) and keep my fingers crossed. Also, the doctor mentioned that blood sugar is a factor so that it could help if I indulge in sweets like cupcakes and ice cream. So if anyone wants to bring me treats, it could really help. Okay, I totally made that last part up; she said nothing of the sort. But it couldn’t hurt.

The embryo will either stay where it is or it won’t. I feel really good about our chances with our overachieving embryo, but if it doesn’t work this time, it will work next time.

Fingers crossed. Happy day!