I have moved!

If you haven't been to my new blog yet, what are you waiting for? I've had plenty to share, and I even have my own domain name now. I know...I'm SO cool. :)

Check out http://www.beingcat.com/ and subscribe to the feed on Google Reader.

See ya soon!

You spoke, I listened

Well, that was fun! I'm talking about the blog name survey, of course. I really appreciate all of the feedback from my request for help with blog names. Boy was it amusing to see all of the responses.

I can't really say there was a consensus...but, the name that jumped out as being the most popular is what I chose for my new blog. Which was it? Should I tell you? Okay, it is Being Cat. Nice and simple.

The thing is, WordPress is pretty different from Blogger. I haven't had much time to figure it out yet. So, give me a little time to figure this out. I have lots of post topics floating around my brain.

Survey Time

I'm a little frustrated with Blogger lately. My biggest issue has to do with the problems leaving comments. I know that I've unsuccessfully tried a few dozen times to leave comments on others blogs and it rejects me. I've also heard from a few readers who can't seem to leave comments on *my* blog. I googled the matter and tried the suggestions, but am still having trouble. So, I think I'd like to start anew with WordPress.

I came up with a bunch of name ideas for my new blog and I'd really like your feedback. I've narrowed down the list quite a bit, but I still have a lot of choices. Please help me choose the domain name for my new blog. Here are the finalists:

1. BeingCat
2. CatOli
3. CatharineO
4. IronCEO [yes, CEO are my initials]
5. AnotherDayBeingMe
6. SeeCatRun
7. FasterStrongerCat

What do you think? Please vote! Thanks!

Aren't you glad?

So, I just read a post from a blogger that one of my readers directed me to. She's also going through IVF just like I am and let's just say, she's having a rough time with it.

She wrote this post that basically says that life sucks, people suck, etc., etc. She complains that everyone says the wrong thing and that no one in the whole world understands what she is going through. My first thought was, "I am so glad I am not like this!" and I am taking the time to appreciate this fact. In general, I love all of the support that people offer me. I rarely get offended by genuine attempts at comfort and kindness. Really, what is the *right* thing to say? Just letting me know that you care, that you're interested, and that you're optimistic is so touching.

I am so incredibly grateful for my friends. Now, it may surprise you to learn that I'm a little more type-A than most people. I know you're shocked, but here it is. True confessions.

Back in HS and college, there weren't as many people that could relate to my personality. But between law school and this crazy triathlon/marathon training, I've found so many people who love me, despite my need to run 14 miles when the schedule says 14 miles (and not stop at 13.75 even though I'm back at my car).

Today, I am appreciating my friends and the fact that I am able to recognize the effort that my friends make to support me in any way they can. Thank you guys!!! Not a day goes by where I don't think about the numerous wonderful emails, cards, chocolate-covered strawberries, cake pops, and the love I have received. How can I be sad when I have you all for friends?

For the record

Anyone else watch Private Practice? I love it! It is a great show!

But the other day when I was catching up on my DVR'ed episodes, I was a little, umm, irritated. I get that it is just a show, but ugh. So, Addison is starting IVF. And the darn show makes her out to be totally insane because of the fertility drugs. Seriously nutso.

Now, we won't discuss what happened when I asked the Knight about this and he said something like "You weren't that bad." That could be interpreted in a number of ways depending on which word you emphasize and how much you emphasize it, don't you think? But that's all cleared up now. Haha.  And yes, that was before we resumed the injections. Poor Knight.

So, for the record, yes, the injections make you a little emotional and sensitive. Remember this? There are other side affects, too. But from my perspective, I think that the Knight was probably the only one who noticed. I was not having emotional breakdowns at work or anything. Sheesh.

I'm Back

Did you miss me? I missed you! I admit, I have been debating about whether to blog anymore. I even wrote a whole post about my dilemma. But, here I am. Obviously I resolved the quandary. Many thanks to a number of friends who encouraged me to keep going.  I will continue to share the ups AND the downs. Thank you for reading and for all of your support!

So, what’s new? Well, for starters, we’re officially starting IVF cycle 3. The injections resume on 11/1 - fun, fun, fun!.

We’re doing another frozen cycle, since we have one frozen embryo remaining, and it turns out that the Shared Risk agreement we signed says we have to use the frozen embryos before doing another fresh cycle. I wish I knew a lawyer who could review the agreement. Oh, wait. I’m a lawyer. Darn it. I must have skimmed that part.

On Monday we met with our new doctor (we're still with Shady Grove though).  To make a long story short, we were never very comfortable with our previous doctor. Let's just say that I always felt like she was speaking to us as though we were 12 years old. We met our new doctor at the last sonogram we had and although he had to deliver some really bad news, he didn't patronize us. We just got a really good vibe from him - which is pretty remarkable given the circumstances.

As he was talking to us, I was thinking "I really like this guy. It would be great if we could switch doctors." A few minutes later the doc made a little joke, and then apologized for "making light of the situation." The Knight told him it was absolutely fine and asked him if we could switch to him. Mind reader! The doc didn't really respond, so we didn't do anything.

Well, I realized that I needed to deal with the situation, despite the potential awkwardness, and ask to make the switch. I'm proud of myself for doing that. You know how it is. You don't want to break up with your hairdresser so you just keep going to her, despite the bad haircuts.

Now that it is done, I am relieved and happy with the decision.  Our meeting on Monday confirmed for both of us that we made the right choice. We are really on the same page with this doc. For example, back in August the previous doc suggested a number of tests. After a lot of discussion, we decided to refuse the tests.  It's a long story. Anyhow, when we brought these up to our new doctor, he said that he saw no need for the tests and if we wanted them we'd have to make a really good case to convince him to do them.

I share all of this to say that sometimes we need to suck it up and follow our guts.  The hard path can be worth it in the end.

I feel really good about our prospects going forward. We have about a 40-50% chance of success for this cycle, so keep those fingers crossed.

Finally, I feel like sharing an incredibly nice compliment I received in an email this morning. It said "I am still sending positive thoughts and prayers out to you guys for a future baby. I've never met anyone who seems more fit to be a mommy than you. And I truly mean that!!!" Thanks, M! You totally made my day!!!

Finally! My Wine & Dine Half Marathon Report

Oh, wow, it has been a while since I blogged. I knew I needed to do a Wine & Dine Half Marathon race report, but um, I was, uh, busy. No, really. I guess it isn’t too late, since one of my favorite bloggers, Run Faster Mommy, just posted hers.

So, “how was the race?” you ask. It was awesome! It was really, really great for so many reasons. This was my second Disney race – well, third, if you count the Disney half & full I did for the Goofy challenge separately. Disney does it right. From packet pickup to medals, everything is top notch. Yeah, I’m a Disney fan.

Okay, okay, so the deets. I’ll skip the packet pickup details and all and get to the good stuff. We arrived at the race site and had about 1.5 hours to wait. Disney did their best to entertain us runners as we waited.

First item on the agenda, a photo with Chef Mickey. The line was long but since there was no place else to go, we waited. The Knight and the lovely girl decided to try to save their legs while we waited in line, but eventually thought better of it.

Meanwhile, I wasn’t saving my legs… On stage they were leading a dance party. Oh yeah! Funky chicken, electric slide, and some groovy tunes…I couldn’t resist. The Knight and lovely girl just watched me. Whatever. Sorry, no pictures of that. You’ll have to imagine how much fun I was having.

We met up with our friends Dr. Keith and Krista. They are even bigger Disney fans than we are. They pretty much talked us into this, despite my concerns about the late hour of the race. Thank you, guys! I’m so glad we did it.

At 10:10 pm, our corral took off. The plan was to have a nice, easy run. 4 minutes running, 1 minute walking. I love 4:1 because it so easy to keep track of. You don’t really need to do any math while you’re running. You start walking at the 4 and the 9: 4:00 , 9:00, 14:00, 19:00, etc.

Anyhow, we took it really slow. We had planned to stop for lots of pictures, but I was kind of disappointed that there were not that many characters out for pictures. Definitely not nearly the number that were out for my previous races. They had bands, and costumed guys on stilts, and these three ladies who were dressed in lighted costumes [Krista later informed me that they were the three fairies from sleeping beauty].

We did get a few good shots.

I felt great the whole way. It helped that we were running much slower than my usual pace. But given the time of day, the fact that the race day was not exactly restful, and the fact that I had essentially done two training runs: a 5-miler in mid-August and an 8-miler in early September, I was thrilled with how good I felt.

I will admit that I may have been somewhat annoying at the end. The Knight and lovely girl were hurting a bit, and although I had tired legs, my endorphins and the Disney spirit trumped. As we headed through Hollywood Studios, about 3 miles from the finish line, we passed the point where I remembered I began my “sprint” to the finish line for the Disney Marathon. I was ready to get to the finish party and I know I sped us up. I am thinking that my running mates also didn’t totally appreciate me saying how great I felt and that I wanted to run another 13 miles.

Finally, in the wee hours of the morning, the three of us crossed the finish line, holding hands. It was fantastic! We got to run as a family which was way better than a PR. And it was lovely girl’s first race *ever* which makes it even more special.

Afterwards, even more fun awaited. The Wine & Dine Half Marathon is so named because it takes place during the Epcot Food & Wine festival. The kept the festival going until 3 am that night. Seriously the best post-race food ever. I hope that lovely girl didn’t get too spoiled. I tried to make it clear that you’re not going to get seared mahi mahi and margaritas at other races.

Much to my surprise, when they started shutting things down at 3 am I was still pretty energized. Tired, but happy. We got back to the hotel, showered, and slept just long enough to get us ready for another wonderful Disney day (which included a lot more quality time at the Food & Wine festival).

I didn’t take pictures of the food. I know, bad foodie. My camera battery was dying. If you’re interested, here’s a site that has the menus and lots of pictures.

Yeah, we hit most of the 26 countries. My mouth is watering just thinking about the escargot in brioche and the seared scallop with red curry. Mmmmm.

It was a fun Disney experience that none of us will ever forget. Who's with me in 2012???

Vacation rocks!

Well, hello there blog readers!

Can you feel my mellow vacation vibe coming at your through the keyboard? I hope so.

Needless to say, our vacation was wonderful! We had such a great time. I admit that I wasn’t 100% certain that we’d love being on the ship for 14 days, with five of the sea days being in a row. But we did love it and were very sad to see the cruise end. If I had more leave time I am sure I could have convinced the Knight to stay on the ship another week.

As you may recall, the itinerary had us starting in Barcelona, and stopping in Gibraltar, Madeira, St. Martin, Tortola and the Bahamas (Disney’s private island). The ports were fun and interesting. The sea days were a perfect mix of relaxation and entertainment. We did everything from animation class (learning to draw Mickey and others), to a lecture on hypnosis, to watching Disney movies in 3D, to dance classes. And yes, we managed to get a good amount of exercise from running around the ship’s 1/3 mile (covered), and taking spin and yoga classes.

The food on the ship exceeded my expectations. We thoroughly enjoyed the meals (2 lobster nights!), and especially enjoyed dining with our tablemates (and new friends). The shows were generally very good. One of our favorites was the comedy duo of Alfred & Seymour, who had us laughing almost continuously for an hour. There were also several groups providing live entertainment throughout the ship.

What? Are you surprised that I managed to summarize a 14-day trip in three paragraphs? Me too! :)

This weekend we’re flying back to Orlando to run the Wine & Dine half marathon with the lovely stepdaughter. None of us have trained as well as we could/should have, but I have no doubt it will be a great experience. We are going to stop and take pictures with the characters during the race and try to enjoy the festivities as much as possible. I say try because I am not known for being a night person and this race finishes waaaay past my bedtime. I am hoping that I’ll have the willpower to take it easy on Saturday before the race and maybe even nap for a while. We’ll see.

In the meantime, I’m getting caught up with work and all of the friends that I’ve missed for the past few weeks. I think I need to have a party so I can catch up with everyone at once. Hmmmm…. That would give me something to plan after all of this fun stuff subsides. Stay tuned.

Note: I wanted to post some pictures on here but I just haven't had time to do what I need to do to get that done. You know how the first week after vacation goes... They're all on facebook, so if you want to see them and we're not facebook friends, friend me or leave a comment and we'll figure out how to share the highlights.

Moving forward

As you probably know, we are doing Shady Grove's "Shared Risk" program, wherein we paid for approximately two IVF cycles, but are entitled to up to 6 cycles, if needed. The good news is that we are apparently getting our money's worth out of this deal. The first two rounds were, shall we say, unsuccessful... although the doctors are very careful to focus on how great it is that I was able to get pregnant both times.

So, where are we now? Well, despite feeling a little battered by recent events, our desire to have a child and see this thing through has not waned. Heck, we're Ironmen...we don't give up.

Two weeks ago I had a D&C to remove the fetal tissue. The process went perfectly, and recovery couldn't have gone better. I'll leave it at that. I wasn't going to mention this but I do so to tell you about the benefit (???) of doing the procedure. By removing the tissue, they were able to analyze it. [Additionally, doing the procedure avoided the immense pain and drama of miscarrying naturally.] They aren't always able to get helpful information from the testing, but we got lucky (???) and they determined the cause of the miscarriage.

I wish I could now explain to you what happened, why, and what that means going forward. Nope. The nurse called a little while ago with some gobbly-gook [there were this many chromosomes, and blah, blah, blah, number 14 was blah-blah] and said that the doctor would call me next week (NEXT WEEK?!) to discuss. But oh, if I wanted to talk about it sooner I could call the office and leave her a message. Uh, thanks.

So, I don't know much more than that. I assume it is something that we can deal with. Dr. Google hasn't been super helpful, but from what I can tell, it isn't something major that will prevent success in the future. But I don't know, because, you know, the doctor is very busy, and so, I guess I'll just patiently wait for a better explanation. [Yes, I'm being a little snarky. I'm impatient.]

The medical part of this, however, is separate and distinct from the emotional side. As much as I want to go forward, I find myself questioning everything.

Remember what a happy, excited pregnant lady I was? I want to be her again. Yeah, I knew that all pregnancies have a risk of miscarriage...but I was strong and healthy, our numbers were GREAT, and I was drinking green juice every morning, eating lots of good healthy food, and continuing those pesky injections every night. I just believed we were in perfect shape. I guess I was naive. I was more concerned about the potential for bed rest in the later months than anything.

When I think about doing another cycle, I am more scared than excited. If it works, and I get pregnant again, I don't know if I will be able to relax enough to celebrate that. I've tried talking to a few friends who've had children, and they say that pregnancy is full of worry and doubt. I get that, but while I plan to be cautious and careful, I don't want to be obsessive.

Now, I feel compelled to mention, that all along it has been very clear that there is nothing we did to cause this, and there is nothing we could have done - short of preimplantation genetic testing (very expensive and usually unnecessary) - to prevent this. It was a unpreventable chromosomal issue. But now that I've essentially lost three babies - separately - because of chromosomal issues, I don't know if I can stop worrying that it will happen again. [Note: Since we didn't test the first time, we don't know if the first pregnancy was due to the same chromosomal issue or a different one. Also, the nurse couldn't tell me if both twins suffered from the same chromosomal issue, as she only showed one result and guessed that it applied to both. More info would be very helpful, Shady Grove.]

I've found myself feeling uncharacteristically pessimistic lately. I get really sad and often find myself thinking that this is not going to work out. I don't know where this comes from, since I am usually pretty optimistic. Perhaps my hormones are still wackadoodle. Last week's beta test, which you may recall detects the level of hCG - the pregnancy hormone, was still pretty high and had me well within the "pregnant" range.

Assuming that my head bounces back, and assuming that whatever this test result means is not a deal breaker, here's the plan. My beta level needs to get back to zero. Again, I don't have much information about how long this takes, mostly because it appears that it is very individualized. At 9 days post-D&C I was in the high 700s. I will test again this Friday.

Once it goes back to zero, I need to have a full natural cycle, and have a real menstrual cycle. In other words, the lovely stuff that started last week, in the midst of my head cold and stomach bug, just before the earthquake (yeah, it was a lovely day), doesn't count. Zero beta, period, then I get to start those birth control pills again to regulate my cycle. Then we start again. So, it might be a while.

Right now, I am focusing on all of the excitement on the coming month. Just 8 short days until our vacation begins. Less than a week after returning, we will have our little Disney Wine & Dine half marathon adventure. Good stuff ahead!

Oh, and a little more good news to share. I found out last week that it looks like my current boss was able to convince my old office to let him keep me for another year. That is excellent news! I emailed my boss to thank him and he responded, "No one is happier than I!" How nice is that?! I feel very appreciated.

Relativity

My secretary, a sweet 23-year old, is sitting at her desk crying her eyes out because her dress ripped. She is considering taking the rest of the day off. I get it...and that really stinks. But I am this close to saying something like "let me tell you why I cried myself to sleep last night." ....But I won't. Sigh.

I logged in here because I found out you could see a bunch of stats about your blog and I wanted to check it out. Who knew? Okay, you knew. But I'm still figuring this stuff out.

Among other interesting things I learned, is that it looks like 18 people checked this page in the past 24 hours. 18! Wow! This week, when I haven't even posted, there have been 86 page views: 75 in the US, 4 in Germany, 4 in Kuwait (?), 2 in Australia, and 1 in Taiwan. I have to say, I am touched. And flattered. Maybe I am being presumptive, but I guess you are all wondering how I'm doing.

I'm okay. I guess I should be honest, right.

For the most part, I'm keeping it together and maintaining my perspective. More about that below. But then I have moments like last night when the hairdressers in my salon excitedly congratulated me for the news they heard from the Knight just a few short weeks ago. I didn't know what to say and as I tried to explain I started to cry. It really took me by surprise.

In general, though, I feel like I've done a pretty good job of keeping things in perspective lately. That was especially evident last week when two people I totally adore suffered from random, devastating medical conditions. One of my favorite [Iron]friends landed in the ICU last week after suffering from a pulmonary embolism. [Please read this if you haven't already.] Fortunately, she is now fine and is at home recovering. The next day, one of my beloved teammates suffered from three strokes and is now beginning the arduous process of relearning how to communicate. Wow! Talk about perspective.

Anyhow, I think you all know how much I have truly appreciated the support that I've received. It has been amazing and overwhelming. As I've done my fair share of googling about miscarriages lately, I've read so many comments from women who've had a lot of anger towards those who've tried to be supportive but have somehow struck a nerve or two. You know what? That's just not me.

I'd say that 99% of the time I have been touched the support I've received and I generally don't let the misguided comments bother me. [Thank you, coworker, for trying to lighten the mood by telling me that the miscarriage must have been caused by my daily snack of greek yogurt with chia seeds and dried blueberries that you detest so much. --  BTW, this is one of just a few people in the office who knew what was happening b/c I needed to explain my absences; I have generally kept the situation a secret at work.]

I will say that just because: miscarriages are somewhat common/it happened to so-and-so you know/it was so early in the pregnancy/everything happens for a reason/et cetera, et cetera, does not make it hurt any less. But really, when people say those things to me, I don't take offense or get upset. I know they're trying to help. I appreciate the effort. I know that I certainly don't say the right thing all of the time, or even most of the time.

But there is one thing that bothers me. I don't think that anyone who reads this blog is an offender so I am just going to say it. What really upsets me is the folks that imply, or outright state, that it was too early for me to have shared the news of my pregnancy, or that I shouldn't be blogging about this. Again, I know that they mean well, but I guess it feels like they're questioning my judgment, or the decisions that I so carefully made.

I should probably just get used to that. I hear that parenthood is rife with such unwelcome judgment. But I digress...

As my regular readers know, I give a great deal of thought to my decision to blog, and I take great care in sharing what I believe is appropriate - for ME (or I should say, for us).

Yes, it was really hard for me to share the bad news. I'm not sure that it would have been any less difficult for me to deal with my loss than if I had kept it a secret. In fact, I am sure that the positive impact of the love my friends have shown me this month FAR outweighs the difficulty of publicly announcing the bad news.

I have never been a big fan of being secretive. It is probably just my personality. [Don't worry, I keep my friends secrets close.] When it comes to this blog, I regret nothing. Yet, it still hurts when I feel like people are saying or implying that I should not be sharing.

Now that I write that, I realize that the offenders are non-readers, and perhaps they just don't understand what this blog is about because they haven't seen it. And for those who said it was too early for us to tell, says who? Just because your son and daughter-in-law waited until the second trimester to tell *you* that they were expecting, doesn't mean that we were required to keep the news to ourselves until that point. I've yet to locate the rule book on this, but if you have a copy, please let me see it.

So, from this point forward, when I feel like it, I am going to blog. Writing has been remarkably therapeutic for me - especially today. I have learned a lot from people who've reached out to share their experiences with me; something that wouldn't have happened if I had kept this whole process under wraps. Most importantly, I have had the opportunity to support a couple of other friends who are beginning a similar journey.

So yeah, I'm doing okay. I have good days and bad days. But I am healing, and am amazingly aware of how lucky I am.

Stay tuned for more info on what's next...

I thought you should know

I'm not really sure how to say this so I'm just going to say it. Friday morning we learned that Baby B did not make it. As much as we thought we were prepared for the news, we were not. We are deeply saddened.

It is time to heal. We are surrounded by love, friendship, and a ton of support. We are making every effort to appreciate all of our good fortune and move forward from there.

I'm not going to say that everything happens for a reason because I've found that is not really a fair statement. Some things just have no possible good reason for happening. However, I do believe that eventually things have a way of working out. I truly believe that things are going to work out just fine for us.

With love,
Cat (& Oli)

Uplifting

Okay, so I said I was going to take a break from blogging but I feel compelled to write today...and that's a good thing.

Yesterday, as I made my way to work, my emotions made me feel so heavy that I didn’t know if I was going to make it to my desk. I felt so fragile that I thought that I might fall apart at any moment.

One of the reasons I decided to post our sad news is because of our weekend plans. The Knight and I are still planning to head to Luray to race with the team this weekend (well, he’ll race, I’ll cheer). Yet, I didn’t know how to deal with what is usually the very welcome excitement, congratulations, questions, and yes, belly touching (it has already started). I didn’t want to tell people individually – because it would be hard on me and awkward for them. We thought about cancelling our plans, but the idea of camping in the mountains, in that big field with a hundred of our closest friends sounded like exactly what we needed.

So I posted Monday night and by morning a few messages starting trickling in.  It was comforting. And then the messages kept coming in and I found myself excited to check email because every note was having a positive effect on my emotional state and was getting me through the day.

Later, the Knight sent an email entitled “Incredible” saying that one friend in particular was tremendously thoughtful and was thinking of us. I didn’t know what he meant, and he refused to tell me so that I would be surprised when I got home. Waiting for me was a beautiful edible arrangement that was also quite delicious! The best part was the decadent chocolate-covered strawberries. Mmmmm.

The notes kept coming in, one by one. By the time I went to bed, my spirits were high. I told the Knight that while I am not one for false hope, I feel like it is very possible that this little baby is going to make it.

The feeling of friendship and love that you all brought to me has overwhelmed me and made me feel like no matter what, it will all be okay.

I believe in karma. Lately, I’ve been wondering what I did that was so bad, because things really haven’t been going my way. Well, today, I feel like the universe has reminded me that it is all going to work out. I must have done something really, really good to deserve this outpouring of support. Thank you doesn’t begin to cover it.

The other 11 reasons

I don't really want to write this post, but I need to. We are really sad to say that the snowbabies are not coming along like we hoped. Last week we went for our second routine ultrasound and the doctor gave us some upsetting news. Both baby's heart rates were low. Baby A was much smaller. She gave us 50/50 odds that they would survive.

This morning we learned that baby A's heart has stopped beating, and although baby b's heart rate continues to increase and the baby is steadily growing, for some reason, the chance of survival is very low (20%).

Needless to say, we are heartbroken. We don't know why this happened, and neither do the doctors. They say there is nothing we could have done, and nothing we can do, to help the situation. We haven't given up hope for the remaining baby, but it doesn't look good. Still, if you could think good thoughts or pray for us, we would appreciate it.

Now it is time to heal, and focus on the other 11 reasons I was happy in my recent post. I think I may take a break from posting for a little while. Don't worry, I will be back.

Happy Thursday Thirteen

Oh my gosh, it is Thursday. Well, you know what that means. I need to come up with thirteen something-or-other. Hmmmm.

Okay, I've got it.

Bear with me, this is going to be annoyingly upbeat. How about 13 Reasons Why I'm Happy?

1. Have you heard, I'm pregnant!?!
2. Not just that, but we're expecting TWINS!
3. I have the most amazing husband!
4. My family is wonderful!
5. I'm healthy! I can breathe, I can walk, I can see! The list goes on and on.
6. This country can be crazy but I am proud and grateful to live here.
7. I have so many fabulous friends in my life! It constantly amazes me.
8. For the above-referenced friends who I don't get to see or talk to as much as I'd like, I have things like email and facebook.
9. The future is bright! I can't predict what it holds, but I firmly believe it will be fantastic.
10. Every day I get to go home to a house that I love.
11. I have so much to look forward to...from dinner tonight to our September vacation to the birth of the snowbabies.
12.  My problems are not real problems.  Someone told me once that real problems are ones that are fatal or devastating - like cancer or hunger. The things that I "worry" about pale in comparison.
13. Finally, I am happy that I happy. To a great extent I believe you are in charge of your happiness, and I am thrilled that I have the ability to choose wisely.

Double Trouble! Double Fun!

Most of you have already heard the good news, which I simply could not keep to myself. We are expecting twins! Two for the price of one… double trouble… Yes, it is a double blessing and we are thrilled.

There are a lot of emotions right now. For the most part, we’re elated. But like with any pregnancy, there is a little bit of worry. Twin pregnancies are a little more risky for mom and babies. I guess we’ll cross whatever bridges we come to when we come to them.

To be totally honest, at this point, we’re just glad there aren’t three. With our high numbers (13dpt beta: 1064, 15dpt: 3,940; 18dpt 13,460) we were starting to think maybe one of the embryos had split and we were going to have triplets. That really freaked us out.

Fortunately, it is *just* (ahem) twins. I’m feeling great overall. I’ve had two short bouts of morning sickness, both of which lasted a total of about 3 minutes. Nausea, a little vomiting, recovery. Boom. All done. Not great, but really, pretty good when you think about it. Ever since Musselman weekend, I’m a little tired, but nothing too extreme. I can pretty much do everything I usually do. I just need to work out the sleep intermission issue.

The second sonogram will be one day next week. We’ll get to see another picture of the snowbabies! Here’s the shot we got today (forgive my lack of photo editing skills).

In case you can’t see anything, don’t worry. We couldn’t either. The big thing to notice about this photo is that there are two circles in the middle, which are two separate sacs (that means fraternal, versus identical twins). Inside each sac are embryos that are roughly the size of kidney beans. We got to see their little tiny hearts beating on the screen. Way cool!

Pregnancy & Exercise

I'm just back from a most excellent workout at the gym. Of course, my definition of excellent has changed significantly as of late. Today, in meant 30 minutes on the elliptical in zone zero (around 130 bpm) followed by super light weight lifting just to make me remember that there are muscles in there.

I am totally and utterly confused by all of the conflicting information about exercising during pregnancy. My most recent conundrum is the vastly different recommendations I have heard for maximum heart rate when you're expecting. SG said no higher than 150. A pregnant friend, who is in much better shape than I, said her OB told her not to get her heart rate above 140. What the heck? Doesn't one's fitness factor into these broad recommendations?

After weeks of frustration about this, it occurred to me that the  recommendations might have more to do with not elevating the baby's heart rate too high. That must be it.

I will keep reminding myself that I am now a "baby house" [thanks for that gem, Julie S.] and that my primary job is to take care of the life inside of me. So, if that means running 15:30 miles, as I did last night to keep my HR under 150 [ugh!] then that's what I'll do.

Feeling Great

I feel obligated to announce that today I am feeling great! I got a full night's sleep last night, and a nice elliptical workout yesterday. I've also gotten back to our usual routine that involves fresh fruit and vegetable juice every mornings, and lots of other healthy eating. I feel energetic and lively.

The Knight has promised to spoil me with lots of healthy and delicious food and beverages for the next 8 months. I asked him how that would be different, and he said he is going to step it up, big time. Do you see why I married him?

Zzzzzz

I have so much to blog about. I made a list during what we like to call my "sleep intermission" last night. Speaking of which, today I will write about sleep.

Sleep. Oh, sleep.

I have to think that at week 5 of my pregnancy, it is simply too early for my sleep patterns to be so messed up.  Perhaps this is just my body's way of training me for the inevitable sleep deprivation that will happen in 8 months. In any case, as someone who believes that sufficient sleep is the cornerstone of health, I am not too pleased with how things are going right now.

I realize that as the pregnancy progresses, sleep will become more and more - shall we say, challenging. But for heaven's sake, I am 5.5 weeks. This is nuts! Over the past week, most nights I find myself waking up (and staying awake) in the middle of the night. So frustrating.

I don't know what is going on. Saturday was pretty funny as I was so exhausted that I fell asleep while cheering for the sprint, then I slept through the entire pre-race talk, then I took a nap at the hotel. I was then out like a light by 8:15 (but then I was up from 1-3 am).

I love sleep. I believe in sleep. I am convinced that getting enough sleep is essential for maintaining one's health and it is a very high priority for me. Yes, I know this will soon change :). Here's hoping that I can get some good sleep between now and the due date. I know I'm really going to need it.

Sorry for the suspense

Greetings from Ithaca, New York. If you're keeping track, you know that Wednesday was the big day. The much anticipated pregnancy test.

I am thrilled to report that cycle 2 was a success and I am PREGNANT! I mean, really pregnant. Unlike last time, when my hCg level was 14, my first beta was over 1,000. Holy cow!

The plan to surprise my mom kind of backfired. I gave her a gift bag with some yarn (she had talked about knitting a baby blanket) and a book about being a grandma. She totally didn't get it. Looking back, it was kind of funny...but lets just say it wasn't the reaction I was hoping for. Since I kept the whole transfer thing a secret, it was more like stunned disbelief than overjoyed, but the joy and excitement came eventually.

When we called my sister, she cried and exclaimed this is the best thing to happen to her in her entire life. :) The future big brother and sister (the Knight's kids, my terrific step-kids) seemed genuinely happy to hear the news. My step-grandparents (my stepfathers parents) were really happy to hear about the baby on the way but they were very resistant to the whole idea of being great-grandparents. Funny, since they're 91 and 94. For that matter, my stepfather is having a hard time grasping that he will be a grandfather.

We are pretty excited! It feels so surreal... More later, I promise.

It's Thursday Again!

Here are my thirteen updates for today:

1. No news to report on the IVF front. The embryo transfer last Friday went well. The pregnancy test is scheduled for next Wednesday (7/13). Fingers crossed!
2. To be honest, I’ve had enough of the injections. I look and feel like a pin cushion. My backside is all bruised and my butt feels like I slipped on some ice or did a really tough glutes workout.
3. I’m also feeling the effects of the hormones – mostly just physically in the form of PMS symptoms.
4. I’m midway through the required post-transfer no exercise week. (Sorry, I don’t consider walking exercise.) I have been walking the hills of Lake Barcroft and really enjoying it.
5. The job situation is still the same. It is so incredibly frustrating. My office tried another approach to hiring me and hit a another brick wall.
6. I love holiday weeks! I love how Thursday feels like Wednesday, and Friday is here before we know it.
7. I am really in a good place mentally. I have so much to be happy about and I choose to focus on those things instead of the challenges.
8. More vacation news: I am super excited to report that less than a week after coming home from our fabulous transatlantic adventure, we have another trip to look forward to.
9. The Knight, the lovely stepdaughter, and I are headed back to Disney for the Wine & Dine Half Marathon. Hopefully I’ll be okay to run (slowly) at that time.
10. We, okay I, offered to pay for the lovely stepdaughter’s registration if she wanted to do her first half marathon at Disney. A week after we booked our trip she took us up on it. We were so excited to suck her into our madness – I mean, introduce her to the joys of running - that we couldn’t say no.
11. It will be a whirlwind weekend but it is going to be fabulous.
12. The race is called Wine & Dine because it coincides with the Epcot Food & Wine Festival. Can you think of anything more fantastic?
13. The only disadvantage – from my perspective – is that the race begins at 10 pm. As a morning person, I’m not thrilled about this but I’ll figure it out.

Thanks for reading!

Thursday Thirteen: Favorite Eats

It will come as no surprise to those who know me to see me admit that I’m a foodie. While I generally dislike that term, it is the best word I know to describe that I like food and tend to plan around eating, think about eating much of the time, and generally enjoy everything that has to do with food.

This is not a new development. I think back to the 9^th grade, when I was given the choice of a wide range of electives, and I chose “European Cooking.” It was a great course and I learned to make pasta from scratch. Life was never the same.

Going back even further, I remember the stories my mom loves to tell. She said that when you asked most young kids about their favorite food they would respond pizza. Apparently, my kindergarten teacher had never before had a child answer “artichokes.”

There is also a story about the day that my mom accidentally mixed up my sister and my tuna sandwiches and I refused to eat it my sister's sandwich because it didn’t have capers. True story. So yeah, it is clear that my love of food goes back pretty far.

Anyhow, I love to eat, so it is fortunate that I also love to run and I manage to force myself to work out most days. I also try to eat very healthfully at least 80% of the time, so when I want to enjoy a decadent meal, I can. Just not every day. 

Without further delay, here are my favorite foods that I’ve eaten out in local places the past year (in other words, this doesn’t count the many delicious foods I’ve enjoyed at home or on vacation)

1. Stuffed Pepper Chicken (Hong Kong Palace, Falls Church)
2. Seared Salmon Belly Nigiri (Kaz Sushi Bistro)
3. Fleur de Sel Caramels (Artisan Confections)
4. Prince Edward Island Mussels (Radius Pizza)
5. Dark Chocolate Frozen Yogurt (Red Mango)
6. Spicy Tuna Tartare in a Sesame-Miso Cone (The Source)
7. Crispy Calamari with Yuzu Dip (The W Hotel/J&G Steakhouse)
8. Cupcakes (Bakeshop)
9. Creamed Spinach  (Ray’s the Steaks)
10. Pan-fried Pork Dumplings (A&J)
11. Vegetarian Platter (Etete)
12. Dark Chocolate Mousse (Ray’s the Steaks)
13. Lobster Burger (Central)

YUM! Right?

Here’s more info.

Stuffed Pepper Chicken (Hong Kong Palace, Falls Church)

Hong Kong Palace, or HKP as we call it, is by far the best Chinese restaurant I have ever been to. When you sit down they bring you two menus: one is the standard Americanized Chinese food that you’re used to seeing. It’s fine. The second is the authentic Szechuan menu and it is full of amazing dishes.

My favorite dish, the Stuffed Pepper Chicken, is actually not on either menu. It is on the specials wall in Chinese, and we’re told that it doesn’t really have an English translation (some call it Mouth Mouth) but to ask for the Stuffed Pepper Chicken.

II absolutely love this dish. Crunchy, Spicy, Sweet bits of dried peppers stuffed with a sesame mixture, combined with tender, juicy bits of fried chicken. The other top items that we love here: Cumin Lamb (or Cumin Ribs), Chengdu Salt & Pepper Shrimp, Yang Zhou Fried Rice (made with house-made bacon).

Seared Salmon Belly Nigiri with Soy-Lemon Sauce (Kaz Sushi Bistro)

I love sushi and one day I’m going test my theory that I could eat sushi every day and not get tired of it. My absolute favorite sushi bite in the area is the seared salmon belly at Kaz.

Fleur de Sel Caramels (Artisan Confections)

As you look at my list, you’ll see that I love chocolate; especially dark chocolate. If I had to pick one chocolate to eat for the rest of my life, it would be these – and I didn’t like caramel until recently. The Fleur de Sel caramels are little squares of soft, buttery caramel, covered in dark chocolate and lightly sprinkled with flakes of salt. Mouth-watering!

When (not if) you go to Artisan Confections, be sure to say hello to the owner (and my friend) Jason, and try the other wonderful flavors, too. You won’t be disappointed. The chocolates are really pretty, too, so they make good gifts. Yes, to me, but also to others.

Also, if you like salted chocolate type things, check out the Chocolate Salty Oak cookie at Teaism.

Prince Edward Island Mussels (Radius Pizza)

Here’s another thing I didn’t think I liked: mussels. But once I tasted Chef Wiss’ mussels, served in a tomato broth, I was hooked. These come with big pieces of toasted bread  - ciabatta, I believe - and a smoked paprika aioli. Mmmmmm.

I like to spread the aioli on the bread and top it with a few mussels. Heaven!. Unlike other mussels I’ve tried, these are plump and juice, and are not fishy. These are even better in the summer months when they use fresh tomatoes instead of canned.

I highly recommend checking out Radius Pizza. The pizza is amazing (we like the Ducati, and any special the chef has on the menu), but the real stars here are the specials. They change frequently and are almost always out of this world. You won’t believe what this guy does with soup. And pasta! I had a special pasta dish here before I PR’ed at the Shamrock marathon and I swear it helped. I will never forget those wide paparadelle noodles with house-made bacon and figs. Outstanding!

Dark Chocolate Frozen Yogurt (Red Mango)

When my friends recently asked me what I miss about living in Clarendon, my first answer was that I missed them. In a close second place was the ability to walk over to Red Mango on a whim. The frozen yogurt here is like nothing else I’ve tasted. It is so intensely flavorful. Another plus is that it is made with all natural ingredients. Out of all the flavors I enjoy, dark chocolate is my top pick. The toppings here are great, too. Why not have some ghiradelli dark chocolate mini chips on your yogurt? Or some mochi or popping boba? You’ll have to go there to find out what those are. They also have a ton of delicious fresh fruit options and ordinary candy/cereal.

Spicy Tuna Tartare in a Sesame-Miso Cone (The Source)

Wolfgang Puck’s only DC restaurant , The Source, is a hit with me. In my opinion, the best item on the menu is the tuna cones. A wonderful combination of spicy, sweet, tender, salty and crunchy. I just wish they weren’t so pricey.

If you’re a tuna tartare fan, also check out the tuna sliders at PS7’s. They’re awesome as well.

Crispy Calamari with Yuzu Dip (The W Hotel/J&G Steakhouse)

If you like calamari, you need to try the calamari at the W. It is battered with an incredibly light coating (almost like tempura, but better). It served with a delightful dipping sauce that tastes like whipped mayonnaise doused with the essence of citrus. The chilies in there don't hurt, either. Just wonderful.

Cupcakes (Bakeshop)

Oh, cupcakes! I love cupcakes! I know that not everyone understands the trend, but what’s not to get? Most cupcakes are a perfect size for an individual serving and offer the ideal ratio of frosting to cake. Yes, I’ve done a cupcake tour where I have gone around to many different shops to compare the goods. I have a lot of favorites, but the best shop overall is definitely Bakeshop.

I admit that Bakeshop's frosting isn’t my favorite. I like sweeter, denser toppings on my cake. However, the whole package here is just right. The cake is the moistest, most flavorful cake around, and Justin’s frosting perfectly complements his cakes. This guy knows what he's doing. I can’t even pick a favorite flavor because they’re all so good. He also offers a range of other baked goodies, but you really can’t go there and not have a cupcake.

As a side note, also in Clarendon (next door to Red Mango, actually), is Crumbs. Their cupcakes are big and pretty and have cool names. Compared to Bakeshop, however, they are totally tasteless. Please, please, please - if you're in Clarendon, walk down Fillmore Street to Bakeshop (and Artisan, next door to Bakeshop) and don't waste your money or calories at Crumbs. Thank you.

Creamed Spinach (Ray’s the Steaks)

My mom once referred to the creamed spinach at Ray’s as “spinach to a higher power” and if you taste it you’ll know what she means. I like to challenge people who say they don’t like spinach to try this spinach, and so far all of the spinach haters have been converted. It is just that good! Not heavy or gloppy; just creamy, simple, and flavorful. The best part is that it is free (along with mashed potatoes) with all entrees. No, wait, the best part is that they frequently (though not always) include some extra creamed spinach with your leftovers.

Pan-fried Pork Dumplings (A&J - Annandale)

A&J in Annandale (they also have a Rockville location) is a total hole in the wall and off the beaten path. It features a range of dim sum items, which are available all the time, and not just at special hours like most places. It is a bargain, too. The item I order every time is the pan-fried dumplings. Unlike what you’d expect, they are long and thin, and frequently stick together. They aren’t served with a sauce, so you can mix up the condiments on the table to taste (I like the vinegar, soy sauce and chili peppers).

Vegetarian Platter (Etete)

If you think you don’t like Ethiopian food, I urge you to give it another try. Go try a vegetarian platter and then tell me that you are not in love with this cuisine. The basis of Ethiopian food is the bread, called injera. It is spongy, sourdough-like bread that resembles crepes. You tear off pieces and use it to scoop up the food.

What comes on the vegetarian platters varies between restaurants, and often at the same restaurants on different days. At a minimum you’ll usually find some kind of split peas, greens, potatoes and carrots, tomato salad. It is a rainbow of deliciousness.

My favorite local Ethiopian restaurant is Etete. Meaza is close to my new house and is good, but inconsistent.

Dark Chocolate Mousse (Ray’s the Steaks)

Yes, another item from Ray’s the Steaks. One day I’m going to go there and just order spinach and mousse. Okay, maybe I’ll get a side of mac and cheese, too. Seriously though, this is the most phenomenal chocolate mousse I’ve ever had. They also offer milk chocolate and white chocolate varieties, but for me, of course, dark is the way to go.

I know I should be raving about the steaks at Ray’s; it is of course their feature item. Don’t get me wrong, I love the steaks here more than I love steak anywhere else, but I think I naturally lean towards being a vegetarian or pescetarian. Is there such a thing as a chocolatarian?

Lobster Burger (Central)

a bunch of chopped lobster meat compressed into a patty. It is more like two lobster tails intertwined and slapped on a delicious bun with a buttery potato tuille. It is a bit pricey, but totally worth the occasional splurge.

In case you’re wondering, I am always available to accompany anyone who would like to try these, or any other, delicacies.

Ice

In case you were wondering, the ice DOES help. Last night's injection burned a lot more going in than it did the night before.

What helps the most is the post-injection massage with a warm washcloth. While the Monday night injection site is still sore (we didn't really take the time to do the massage), last night's injection site is totally fine. I think the rubbing made a big difference.

In less than 48 hours, the little snowbabies will be ready to nest. I'm so excited!

Biking and Pizza

Biking! What? You didn't know I bike. Yeah, well, what feels like a long time ago, I used to blog about my adventures in training for an Ironman. I used to do quite a bit of this cycling thing.

Since I still own my bike (you may remember that her name is Ms. Piggy), lately I've been testing myself to see if I still remember how it works. Yup, I do. I can even clip in and out, pedal, and everything. It is quite wonderful...

I was never fast, but having taken so much time off from the bike, I've gotten even slower. Oh well. As long as I am not trying to keep up with anyone or climb any ridiculous hills, I really enjoy being on the bike.

This weekend I persuaded the Knight to do his 20-mile recovery ride with me. As soon as I passed the entrance to the Bluemont Junction trail I had a brilliant idea. Pupatella!

Really, it was a brilliant plan. Once I caught up with the Knight, who has always been a speedy biker, I convinced him that we needed to refuel with pizza before heading home.

I cannot explain how much I love this place. The pizzas are so simple, but so incredibly delicious. How can so few ingredients taste so good? It is the essence of good food. I highly recommend that you try it. Start with the "REAL MARGHERITA DOC" and go from there.

I realized that I could really increase my bike fitness if I rewarded myself with Pupatella after (or during) every ride. I would ride all of the time.

It is half a block away from the end of the Bluemont Junction trail (right off the Custis trail) - just west of the intersection of Wilson Blvd and George Mason Drive. Let me know if you need more details.

Mangia!

Funny IVF Thoughts

Last night was Progesterone in Oil (PIO) day 2. It really isn’t horrible, but it is certainly not fun.

I got to thinking; this is supposed to be an intramuscular injection, right? Yeah, so whose idea was it to inject my butt? I don’t know about you, but I don’t really feel like there is a whole lot of muscle on my butt. There’s something, but it ain’t muscle.

For that matter, who thought of the idea to put hormones in sesame oil? I mean, really! Do we really need to inject MORE fat into my butt?

And how did they come up with this whole idea, anyhow? As it turns out, the whole IVF idea is pretty old, and the first test tube baby was born in the 70s. How did the process get to this point where tens of thousands of women are (mostly secretly) going through this procedure?

Don’t get me wrong. I am grateful that IVF is an option, and am even more grateful that I am in a position to avail myself of this technology. But if you really think about it, it is kind of crazy.

***

In case you’re wondering, PIO #2 went a little better than #1. I received a couple of very helpful emails from friends and I combed the internet. Here is the current drill:

1 – 5 minutes before, ice the injection site. [I am not convinced this is important, because I think that it is to numb the skin to desensitize it for the needle prick. The needle prick generally doesn’t bother me, so I think I’m going to try skipping this next time.]

2 – Fill the syringe with the PIO and heat it for a few minutes. The Knight puts it under his arm and it gets good and toasty. [Apparently, warming the oil makes it thinner and easier to inject.]

3 – Lay face down or find a position that takes the weight off your legs. The person giving the injection places his thumb and index finger together at the injection site, and then spreads the skin taut; then injects the PIO.

4 – Afterwards, lightly massage the area and then apply a warm washcloth.

5 – Most importantly, last night I resumed the post-injection cookie ritual. It was totally helpful and I highly recommend this. ;)

One more tip – if you happen to have a little bit of blood at the injection site (totally normal), it is best not to wipe the blood off and then touch the white duvet cover. I’m not saying who did this, but since one of us was lying face down on the bed eating a cookie, I’ll let you guess. :)